fwipinator

Howdy friends.
I suppose, since it is that you are reading this you'd like to know my story. So without further ado- here it is.

Seven hundred million and a half years ago a meteorite from, no one knows exactly where but, it is calculated a total of seventeen lightyears from Earth crashlanded on this peaceful blue planet with a resounding F-TAAANG. For a couple hundred thousand more years it lay undesturbed until a curious young dimetredon poked around the meteor a little too hard and the whole thing exploded open letting out a type of bacterial gases that caused everything except the nosy dimetredon to rapidly evolve- while the unevolvable creatures deteriorated at the same speed and became fossils.

Little Axel Tred blearily opened her eyes and yawned from the large blast mark where she'd landed from the meteor's explosion. Crawling around for a bit she learned quickly how to walk and met many different creatures. She was taken in by a family of ferrets of whom she gave the scientific name friendlious Zucusius most awesomiest- although in the end it didn't stick.

The ferrets taught her how to gather berries and nuts and how to hunt for food. They introduced her to streams and forests and taught her to fend for herself. Another couple thousand years passed and Axel finally bid the ferrets farewell, and went looking for her own kind. (they had lived for that long because Axel had brought them fairy's from a nearby fairy fountain- where she herself acquired the spin attack- and had shown it to them to keep them healthy forever.)

She first found a city and began exploring, wearing a leather jacket and jeans like she always did because she invented them while living with the ferrets. Upon her entrance to the quaint village a horde of ninja's kidnapped her and took her as a hostage to their series of caverns filled with treasure outside of town. There Axel learned to fight and defend herself with a multitude of weapons and became so good at them that she beat all the ninja's senseless and ran away with all their loot.

She had a short run in with pirates and for a while joined their crew, but decided to leave after she realized iced tea was not good for plundering, and that ale tasted like motor oil (which she had by this time also invented)(and did not taste good.)

She left at the next port and walked through a great expanse of forest where she discovered elves which she sold to Santa Claus and McDonalds for cheap labor to build toys. Needless to say the elves were very happy with this decision and taught her how to talk to animals and turned her into a bird laguz.

Coming to the next town she learned a great many things from Marshall Cogburn, who taught her how to ride a horse, shoot, and know which movies were ACTUALLY worth watching. After that she thanked him kindly for his advice and rode away to Germany where she teamed up with Indiana Jones and fought off the Nazis eventually ending World War II. After that she waved goodbye to Dr. Jones with her own authentic fedora and, being a laguz, grew wings and flew away into a forest where she hoped to get some peace for awhile, but instead ended up saving Link from a bunch of evil plants which she tamed by singing songs from Little Shop of Horrors. After that she learned better swordsmanship from Link (who could swordfight better than any ninja), who also offered to teach her how to shoot archery but she had to decline seeing that she did not have the ability to shoot THROUGH her arm like Link did.

After saving the triforce with him she opened a portal and went deep into the future to see what there was to see there. Meeting Han Solo she tagged along with him and Chewbacca across the galaxy for awhile, helping to destroy the deathstar and getting herself Darth Vader's autograph before pushing the Emperor into the atomic reactor because Luke was taking too long to get the job done. She would have stayed there longer but on the way back to the forest moon of Endor she got sucked into a blackhole- that conveniently let her off back at Earth after she wrangled it into submission with her bullwhip that she'd also gotten from Indy.

After settling down for awhile on Mackinac island (which she decided was the best place in the entire world for the sake of it's famous fudge and rocks), she heard the slogan ‘Gotta catch ‘em all’ and went out to capture all of the Pokemon in the universe, which is why no one can find any anymore.

Later on she met her archery coaches who taught her to shoot her Olympic recurve most excellently and fulfilled her last empty checkbox for all she had ever wanted in life.

Where is she now? Nowadays Axel lives with Davy Crockett and Jim Bowie (who she had also met when she met Rooster Cogburn) at the Alamo- that- with her help going back in time- they had won and beat Santa Anna out of Mexico. Also in her adopted family is the young dimetrodon that she had frozen in carbonite until she devised a way to keep him alive and is now her pet, the family of ferrets that cared for her, and her older science band sibling. (who had also come out of the meteor with her, but became infatuated with muffins and meat and spent most of his life sleeping next to his heater eating one or the other.) Her frequent visitors are Marshal Rooster Cogburn and his Nephew General Sterling Price, Indiana Jones, Link, Darth Vader, and Han Solo. She now spends her life shooting and making comics all day and hunting vampires for bounty all night.
^.^

Current Residence: Somewhere between the S and T in the word states.
deviantWEAR sizing preference: itty bitty
Print preference: I prefer print to cursive XD
Favourite genre of music: Rock. (Old rock that is)
Favourite photographer: Uncle Scott and Brian Gudas (<-- awesome guy!)
Favourite style of art: Stuff I can understand at a glance.
Operating System: Mah computer
MP3 player of choice: an Ipod
Shell of choice: A conch XD
Wallpaper of choice: somethin green
Skin of choice: I'm not racist, thank you XD
Favourite cartoon character: Colonel Hogan
Personal Quote: "I shoot the arrow of last resort."